Hi, I am a smooth, red weenie pup.  My mom is Scarlett."

"Are You Ready to Be Owned by a Dachsie?"

(from the book "Dachshunds for Dummies")

I hear ya:  "Yes, yes, I'm ready!  Sure, Dachshunds have minds of their own, but I can handle one.  How tough could it be with a dog that short?"

Ah, but Napoleon was short, too.  Take the following little quiz to make sure that you're truly prepared and ready to be owned by a Dachshund:

1.  Dachshunds believe they should:

           a.  Guard the house     

           b. Rule the house

2.  A Dachshund loves to please you

           a. No matter what     

           b. When you're holding a doggie treat

3.  Dachshund training sessions should be

           a. Fastidiously structured    

           b. Cleverly disguised as playtime

4.  When your Dachshund really, really, really, really wants that (third) oatmeal cookie, you should

           a.  Just give it to him

           b.  Close your eyes lightly, take a deep breath, try not to  think about that cute little cocked head, and just say no.

5.  Dachshunds are obedient

           a.  Once you've trained them    

           b. When the spirit moves them

6.  When it comes to crowds, Dachshunds

           a.  Are a little shy and would rather blend

           b.  Love to be the center of attention and will do just about anything for applause

7.  When it comes to the power of destruction, a Dachshund

           a.  Doesn't do too much damage after the initial teething stages.

           b.  Can rival a Labrador Retriever in his ability to dismantle a sofa.

8.  Dachshunds often keep their noses to the ground because

           a.  they are surveying their environment through scent

           b.  they are hoping beyond hope that they'll run across a piece of food

9.  If you don't allow your Dachshund on the furniture, he will

           a.  never get on the furniture

           b.  quickly learn to get off the furniture when he hears you coming

10.  To a Dachshund, a fence is

            a.  a safe enclosure             

            b.  something to dig under

11.  To a Dachshund, the outside world is

             a.  an intimidating place     

             b.  his personal playground

12.  A Dachshund likes to perch in high places in the room because

              a.  she doesn't want to get stepped on

              b.  she likes to survey her kingdom

13.  Dachshunds bark

              a.  only when a true threat is approaching

              b.  when anyone approaches anything--or just for fun

14.  To a Dachshund, any animal under ten pounds is

              a.  not worth noticing

              b.  prey!  Hamsters beware!

15.  Dachshunds love

              a.  people

              b.  kids

              c.  other dachshunds

              d.  other dogs

              e.  the occasional cat

              f.  all of the above

Count up all your responses.  If you answered mostly A's, you may not be ready for a Dachshund.  Your ideas of what a dog should be and do may be better fulfilled with another breed.

If you answered mostly B's, you are already talkin' Dachsie.  You already know, or can guess at, what life will be with a Dachshund in the house.  Challenging?  Yes.  Fun?  Oh, yes.  Easy?  Oh, no.  But, as long as you know what you're getting into and are ready to trade in the easy parts for some great fun, you may be just the kind of companion a Dachshund needs.

And, of course, although the answer to Number 15 is F (all of the above), you will be top on your Dachshund's list.